Parenting self care

The 'I can do it all, I should do it all' parent

The 'I can do it all, I should do it all' parent

I can remember when my kids where young and still in school. I felt this enormous pressure to do so much. There were always so many things happening. There were homework projects that needed to get done. Field trips, that I not only felt like I should drive for, but wanted to drive for. Games, plays, playdates... The list was lengthy. Sometimes, the pressure was internal and sometimes it was clearly external. Maybe from parents organizing things, teachers knowing who they could count on, and sometimes even my kids, who really wanted me to be a part of certain things.

I am not going to lie, I ran myself ragged trying to do it all... and work. 

When we do not allow ourselves space to rejuvenate, collect AND feel our feelings. We are not doing anyone any favors. We need time to understand how we are feeling about what's going on in our lives and allow ourselves the space to decide what is good for us. This is how we are actually able to be our best for our families, and especially our kids.

Wanting to participate in lots of aspects of your child's life is perfectly understandable. But, knowing where to create boundaries is essential. Letting someone know when you just can't do something or maybe that you will skip this one and do the next are all really great muscles to build and flex. Doing it all, does not equal being a great, efficient parent. In fact, it can often result in the opposite. When we are stretched too thin, we are not performing at our best.

Creating healthy boundaries and limits is good role modeling for your kids by teaching them that life should be enjoyable and taking time for self care is important. And also, for your community, if you are giving yourself permission to decide when to pull back and give yourself space, chances are, your community will see you and hopefully take your lead.

Yours truly, 

A reformed 'I can and should' do it all parent

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